Child single, out myths: key to ageing

Only child

The traditional scheme of family composed of father, mother, and at least three children, usual 40 years ago, has given way in Spain to a majority of households with a single son: 16.4% of the total, compared with 15.3% two, and scarce 3.2% that has three or more, according to data from the National Institute of statistics relating to the year 2013. A trend that also advances in many countries of Latin America, such as Chile, Mexico, Argentina or Brazil.
The reasons are multiple: the incorporation of women into the labour market, the delay in the age of conception, an uneven distribution of tasks in the home, the dramatic increase in the divorce rate, scarce public subsidies families, complicated conciliation family, lack of economic resources, the high degree of hedonism in our societies...
As a result, little by little the one-child family is essential, and are left behind the clichés and stereotypes that often accompany this type of election, sometimes voluntarily, sometimes forced by the circumstances, but that, in any case, must be lived naturally and without family pressures or the environment, nor ideas preconceived.
Ideas like that only children are more solitary, individualistic, spoiled, selfish, or capricious, when, in fact, everything depends on the links that we believe them or how to focus their education and upbringing. Having no siblings reference for, for example, share your stuff or socialize from little ones do not have to be synonymous with that will develop these qualities mitificadas which is sometimes blame them since from other environments non-relatives, as from the same day care for example, can learn and internalize these concepts as any other child.

How it affects the child be only child

Some studies suggest that only sons are smarter because of the increased attention and stimulation which are subject by their parents, and because they have, in general, more educational possibilities. They are also very safe, balanced, and children with good self-esteem, thanks to the close link established with their parents. Accustomed to being the center of the House and play alone, they are often the leaders of the Group and often also very creative.
But educate them well is not, despite what they tend to think, simple task, especially when there are two parents and many adults around (grandparents, uncles, etc.), which makes the child an exception.
Because there is only a child tends inevitably to focus attention on it, a behavior of double edge. On the one hand, being the center of everything gives little confidence in itself, since it is secure in the love of their parents, who don't have to compete with any brother. But it also brings a lot of pressure: idealize too close to the child and ask all our expectations carrier will make that you're always trying to prove that it is up to and will find it difficult to cope with failures, very visible in the absence of other references.
In addition, it is very easy that undivided attention resulting in an overprotective attitude that only hurts the child. To loosen this pressure it is recommended to not be all day on slopes of them, and dump us also in our partner, professional and social life... because there is life beyond of our son. And as we are not perfect as parents, we can also demand our son to be.

Tips for raising an only child

There is no doubt that growing up with brothers is an effective mode of socialization and taught to share and to be more generous. When everything is for him, the only child tends to be more selfish, which can give rise to take problems to interact with other children, excluding or, on the other hand, exaggeratedly calling attention to become note to others.
But parents can prevent this risk by encouraging their children, since very small, play with others, teaching them to share, to lose, to channel his aggression, to resolve conflicts, and to take into account the feelings of others.
How? The daycare is a perfect site so they can learn to socialize from little ones. We can also go to the Park every day, or to sites where we know that there will be other children (sport centres, swimming pools, etc). In addition, should open the family abroad: cousins, neighbors and school friends can replace the role of the brothers... Them we often invite House, and also let him go to play or sleep in house of peers.
Point it to team sports or activities group, and in holiday camps, also will help. And, of course, parents should also share time with your child at home doing things he likes, or participant in making their tasks (cooking, for example), but not become his confidant, another very common mistake.

Stop the tyrannical child

It is very easy to fall into the temptation, with a single son, give in to all your wishes, a temptation even stronger in the event that the parents are separated. However, any child needs boundaries clear, know with certainty what it means a 'no'; otherwise, never you will learn to manage their frustration and you can become a tyrannical child, or suffer what is known as the Emperor syndrome. It is necessary, therefore, establish rules very clear limits that must be respected.
In addition, if we let him do what give you the win, also we risk to behave like away from home, reinforcing the topic that only children are spoiled spoiled, and running the risk of being rejected by other children.
Although we can also fall into the opposite error, asking too much and charge of tasks, both extracurricular and inside the House, what is not good for him. As always, listen to our son and using common sense, it is most appropriate before making decisions concerning their education.
Finally, when you ask for explanations, given them. To the four or five years, children often ask why do not have brothers, a query that does not necessarily imply that they are claiming one, they want to know why your family is not like his best friend and his cousins. We must not take detours or tell lies; explain, in words he understands, your reasons, and make him see that his condition also has advantages.

Article contributed for educational purposes